


What we need right now...

by jicheol_lover



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Letters, Light Angst, M/M, Song Lyrics, Texting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-04
Updated: 2017-06-04
Packaged: 2018-11-08 20:00:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,840
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11088891
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jicheol_lover/pseuds/jicheol_lover
Summary: Jihoon couldn't find the inspiration to his music. Seungcheol couldn't find his old self in loving someone who was too busy to make time for him. Jihoon didn't know what to do, until Seungcheol decided to pause everything. Like Soonyoung said, they both needed a break.





	What we need right now...

**Author's Note:**

> To be very honest, what's driven me to write this is because of what I've been going through lately. My dearest friend said that I love too deep and she was right. I need a break from everything and thus, this happens. I don't know how this is honestly, but I hope you guys will enjoy this.

The same melody had been playing throughout the studio and he was sick of it. He was sick of how the melody sounded so lifeless and not enough soul. Like the melody wasn't alive enough to express the lyrics he wrote for so many sleepless nights. 

He didn't know what exactly was lacking in the melody. But something told him that it was the most important thing he needed.

The melody soon turned nauseous to him so he pressed the stop button. 

The studio was in a complete silence after that; only the sound of his breathing can be heard. 

Until the sound of knocking on the door broke the silence and his best friend made an entrance, wearing a worried expression on his face.

"Jihoon-ah" said the best friend. "I'm not sure how to say this, but Seungcheol-hyung wanted me to give this to you."

"Oh, Soonyoung-ah," Jihoon turned around to face his best friend who was standing behind him and Soonyoung gave him an envelope. "Where is Seungcheol-hyung?"

"That's… well," Soonyoung rubbed the back of his head, trying to hide the guilt he felt. "Seungcheol-hyung left."

"Wait – what? What do you mean he left?" Jihoon stared at Soonyoung expectantly waiting for an answer; his hands started to shake a little while holding the envelope.

"That's exactly what I said." Soonyoung tried to sound firm. "He also said that he will be back after he gets his stuff settled."

"Wait, he didn't even discuss this with me? He can't just left…" Jihoon started to feel angry; his hands clutched the envelope tighter. Soonyoung noticed how the envelope was starting to crumple, but he just let it be.

Soonyoung sighed. 

"You need a break Jihoon. Seungcheol-hyung needed it too." and Jihoon was confused but Soonyoung continued.

"I don't know how to help Seungcheol-hyung anymore. This is what he wanted, so I guess I should just support him and keep the promise I make."

Soonyoung started to walk away from Jihoon. And before he reached for the door knob, he turned around to look at his confused best friend. 

"Just this once, Jihoon, look around you. That's all I want from you." and Soonyoung left.

Jihoon stared blankly at the closed door before his attention averted to the crumpled envelope in his hands.

He didn't know what to do and how to feel when he knew that Seungcheol left him without saying a word. 

Probably he will find the answer inside of the envelope.

Jihoon opened the envelope and slowly pulled out the letter. He unfolded the letter carefully and he could see Seungcheol's handwriting all over it.

He didn't waste a second as he started reading.

> _Hey Jihoon-ie._
> 
> _I hope you're doing great these days despite the stress accumulating and lack of sleep._
> 
> _I know you're busy writing and making music, but I hope you still have enough rest. Like I said so many times already, you need a break. But you never listen ^^_
> 
> _What I'm about to tell you is probably something you don't want to know, so feel free to throw this away before you go any further. If you still wanna know, then go ahead._
> 
> _Sorry. I feel like I need to apologize because this might hurt you in a way._
> 
> _So, I've been thinking a lot lately and I decided to take a break._
> 
> _I will go far away, Jihoon-ie. I don't know when will I come back, but I hope I will._
> 
> _Please, before you blame yourself, it's not your fault. It's mine to blame._
> 
> _Jeonghan also said to me that I love too easily and too deeply. And I can't argue with that. I fall in love with you so easily and so deeply to the point that I question myself if you ever feel the same way towards me._
> 
> _I know you're busy, Jihoon-ie, I understand – No, I tried to understand, but I couldn't._
> 
> _I realized that I'm the one who always make time for you, but do you know that you never even once make time for me? You probably didn't notice since you're too busy._
> 
> _I know, without any doubt, that we both love what we have…_
> 
> _The words and secrets that we shared,_
> 
> _The things that we did together,_
> 
> _The memories that we made,_
> 
> _But I am selfish because I want more time for us to spend together._
> 
> _And sometimes when you felt down and depressed because you couldn't find any inspiration for the music that you made, you pushed me away._
> 
> _And I realized after a couple of times that I was a fighter while you were a lone ranger. I was fighting for us, but you were fighting for yourself._
> 
> _I thought I could go on like that, but I was hurting myself in the end._
> 
> _I wasn't strong enough for the both of us, Jihoon-ie. I'm sorry._
> 
> _And after thinking about this through, I knew that my happiness depends on you. On how much time we spend together. But as time went by, we spent less and less, thus I became less and less happy._
> 
> _So, I'm leaving. I'm not leaving you, my love; you're always in my heart._
> 
> _I'm leaving to find myself back – the old me who loved you genuinely without expecting anything in return._
> 
> _And when I come back, I will come back stronger so that I can fight for the both of us and I can love you unconditionally._
> 
> _Don't worry, Soonyoung promise me that he will look after you for me and keep me up to date about anything you do every day._
> 
> _Soonyoung always did; he even looked after me when I was hurting._
> 
> _So, in Soonyoung I trust._
> 
> _Till then, I hope you stay healthy and don't skip meals._
> 
> _I love you, Lee Jihoon._
> 
> _Sorry and thank you._
> 
> _Your love,_
> 
> _Choi Seungcheol._

A moment of silence crept throughout the studio. A second after that, a few drops of tears were evident on the letter.

More and more until some words on the letter slowly disappeared as tears took over.

Jihoon couldn't stop crying because his heart was aching and his body was shaking. He didn't know he hurt Seungcheol so badly that the elder guy lost sight of his old self. Seungcheol changed a lot and he didn't realize it.

He only had his mind focus on his music that he also lost sight of how much love Seungcheol poured for him.

Soonyoung was right; they both needed a break. He needed a break from making music while Seungcheol needed a break from loving too deeply.

Jihoon felt stupid; guilt and anger started to take control of his sanity.

He stood up from where he was sitting and kicked the chair hard enough until it hit the door.

"Seungcheol-ie!" Jihoon screamed out his pain. "Choi Seungcheol!" 

The letter crimpled even more when Jihoon kneeled down on the floor, clutching it near his heart.

Jihoon never let anyone – even Seungcheol to see this; to see the weak side of him. Since he was left alone, he cried his heart out with tears rolling down his cheeks and Seungcheol's name on his lips.

But little that Jihoon knew, Soonyoung was standing behind the door. He heard everything Jihoon screamed from the bottom of his heart from inside the studio. 

He had to close his mouth tightly with his hands from making so much noise as he was also crying.

**********

 

**from: hoshi**  
hyung, when will you come back?

**to: hoshi**  
I'm not sure, why?

**from: hoshi**  
well, jihoon wants to see you so badly

**to: hoshi**  
I want to see him too, soonyoung-ah  
but I'm not ready to go back

**from: hoshi**  
it's okay, hyung  
take as much time as you need  
jihoon will wait for you no matter what

**to: hoshi**  
thanks  
and how is jihoon doing?

**from: hoshi**  
he's been doing fine  
he has been having a lot of inspiration lately  
I guess he needs to realize what he was missing after all  
I swear for a genius like jihoon, he was stupid  
so stupid to realize that it was you 'what' he was missing

**to: hoshi**  
well  
I guess he was just too busy to notice, you know

**from: hoshi**  
that's bullshit, hyung  
jihoon was the one to blame

**to: hoshi**  
partly his fault, mostly mine

**from: hoshi**  
when will you stop blaming yourself?

**to: hoshi**  
when I'm strong enough to love him genuinely  
like how I used to

**from: hoshi**  
you both are stupid  
one side is just too stupid to realize  
the other one is just too stupid to stop blaming everything on himself

**to: hoshi**  
haha

**from: hoshi**  
don't you 'haha' me, hyung  
sigh  
anyway  
jihoon wanted you to listen to this

**to: hoshi**  
oh his new song?

**from: hoshi**  
yeah  
and he didn’t wanna release it until you heard it first  
he didn't let me listen to it too, damn

**to: hoshi**  
I'm happy to know

**from: hoshi**  
okay okay  
let me know when you listen to it, okay?  
and your opinion  
jihoon wants to know

**to: hoshi**  
sure  
will do that

**from: hoshi**  
_[Smile Flower.mp3]_

While the song downloaded, Seungcheol quickly grabbed a pair of earphones out of his backpack. He plugged in to the cord and pressed 'play'.

For some reason, sometimes – suddenly I keep thinking these days  
How happy I am, how beautiful you are  
About us, who is second to none 

If we ever become unhappy someday  
If we become apart, what do I do?  
Of course, that won't happen 

I always receive from you  
So, I am thankful and sorry to the point of tears  
I want to hug you but I feel nervous for some reason  
Why am I hesitating? I don't want to be like this 

Just like the sky is high and the wind is cold  
Like the ocean is wide and blue  
I'm afraid that I'll take you for granted  
I think that's why I'm being like this  
I'm nervous about that – what if I lose you?  
I hope you don't feel the same 

I don't even want to think about this  
But sometimes I do, I hope you don't 

I can smile because we are together  
I can cry because it is you  
So, what can’t I do?  
Whenever, wherever – even if we're not together, just like always  
Our smile flowers bloom – I'll be the spring to your smile 

Seungcheol didn't say a word; he just let the soft melody and the genuine lyrics took over his emotions and tears rolling down his cheeks. He was crying – yes, he was crying with a contented smile on his face.

He searched for Soonyoung's contact to send another text message.

**to: hoshi**  
tell jihoon the song is so wonderful  
I love it  
and I love him too

Seungcheol waited for a couple of minutes – which was unusual since Soonyoung always texted him back quickly after that, until the sound of notification can be heard.

**from: hoshi**  
I love you too, Seungcheol-ie  
please come back  
I miss you  



End file.
